Death :)

I can tell you there is a point where the soul leaves the body. There is a final breath, a long and drawn out exhale. Then there is stillness. A soul leaves the confines of flesh and there is a visible difference. No longer is there a life force, the remains are simply that. Many people believe it’s best to give a soul an exit: an open door or window. I believe this.

I can tell you that it’s not at all beautiful. The human body is an amazing thing. Whatever force is perpetualising that heart beat is surely not of this world. But when that force is removed, the body shows its many flaws. It’s probably because evolution is not concerned with death; the body is not capable of holding itself together. Due to evolutions disregard for it, I think it’s very important we respect the dead. Though it’s a vacant house, once those rooms were filled with laughter and pain, love and loss, and history matters.

I can tell you the living are much more difficult to handle than the dead. People will go through Anger, Denial, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. This we know. What is unknown is how long it takes you to get from stage to stage. Or if you’ll be able to handle them at all. It’s been my experience that people have the most trouble with Anger and Depression/Bargaining. You can tell yourself that you’re fine as much as you want, but we are creatures of many lies. I think folk have problems accepting death in our culture because of how we view it, and how we process it. Death is removed from us entirely. Sometimes you see a body once or twice before a burial or cremation, but you don’t have to prepare it. When a family or loved ones prepared a body after death, there is a certain knowing that occurs, a certain closure.

I am a friend of death. I am familiar with her and I understand how she works. I have seen her take the breath of life. I have seen her end relationships, cause people, sometimes very good people, valuable people, to make impossible decisions. I have seen her cause unending pain. She’s given release, and given satisfaction. She’s given closure, and she’s given money.



Death has made me think a great deal about the concept of value and importance. Value means worth, or the ability to create a return on the investment of life. Importance is having the ability to gain value even if not valuable at the time. Not to separate people out, because on the whole I don’t like ranking systems. I’m being told by a boy that I need to give more examples and less philosophy, so I shall:

**kinda stole this from grey’s but that season finale was bad ass.

If there are two people with equal injuries, say Aortic tear with an unknown amount of internal bleeding in the thoracic cavity. One cardio-thoracic surgeon, both patients will not remain stable long enough for her to operate.
Patient A: female 32 orthopedic surgeons who has saved and changed many lives.
Patient B: Male 28, jealous ex who couldn’t let anyone have her if he couldn’t have her. He’s an angry Panda who usually spends his evenings playing video games and jacking off. Works at Jefferson’s, as a bus boy.

Who do you save? Well I guess I showed my bias.

Anyway. Value is a tumbler half full of gin. Importance is a tumbler sitting next to a bottle.
As I currently feel, all life is important. Some lives have more value than others.

Xoxo Natey

Life's problems, like good soup, always better the second day

If you want him
Go and find him
Tell him he's your only need
Be the boy he needs to play with
Be the man he longs to hold
If in your heart
You start to find
He is always on your mind
It won't be long 'till you feel
What the night has to reveal
Men will run from one to the next
Without crying, remorse,or regrets
We build up walls to guard our hearts
Telling ourselves, "you're being so smart"
But safe don't make for a very good scene
If the only one watching your ass
Is the mirror
Those border lines are getting much clearer
So you stray away
From your fake feeling path
Say you yourself there's no going back
You're on this track
There's a hard line
Between love and fucking
Trying to prove
What exactly is a mystery
Best left to the gods


"I'm dreaming
So come inside
Welcome to my
Filthy mind"