10 Things I learned in Iowa City

Not suitable for view by those who pay for your education.

1. The Mexicans at Pancheros are TOTALLY making fun of you, therefore it is TOTALLY acceptable to be dissatisfied with the flatness of your made-to-order-burrito.

2. Everybody's on something. Whether it's blow or low blood glucose cuz you're a crazy-militant-New Pioneer Food Co.-Vegan, or "Omigod! I have four projects due in 12 hours and I spent the last 2.5 weeks drunker than a freshman on prom night. Due to this fact, it should just be assumed that everyone's on edge and ready to snap.

3. It's always time for a drink. I don't care if it's 10 AM or Bar close. It's always time for a drink.

4. If you flirt with the gay at Konnexions and tell him he's pretty, you can get a discount.

5. The best drag queens in Iowa are in Iowa City. There's one or two in other venues, but Iowa City has the densest population of "WOOOOOOOOOOORK"ing girls.

6. Really drunk girls at bro bars can't tell the difference between Queers and Breeders, even when you tell her that her l.e.i. low-rise button fly jeans really don't go with her pay-less b.o.g.o. strappy sandals.

7. Walking down South Johnson at 3:35 AM can be hazardous to your homo-health. Like the Asians, stupid heteros travel in packs and carry razor blades in their cheeks.

8. "I've got a meeting I'm late for." is an acceptable fuck you that will get you out of any conversation with people you really don't care to see. Like the guy you blew off on MH last night and then saw at Studs and wouldn't dance with....

9. Smart phones have been surgically implanted in everyone's hands. You didn't say it if you didn't tweet it, you're not friends unless you "like" my status on the face, you didn't go unless you checked in on 4square.

10. Your friends can get you through anything. Choose wisely, and once you do, you'll have family.

Death :)

I can tell you there is a point where the soul leaves the body. There is a final breath, a long and drawn out exhale. Then there is stillness. A soul leaves the confines of flesh and there is a visible difference. No longer is there a life force, the remains are simply that. Many people believe it’s best to give a soul an exit: an open door or window. I believe this.

I can tell you that it’s not at all beautiful. The human body is an amazing thing. Whatever force is perpetualising that heart beat is surely not of this world. But when that force is removed, the body shows its many flaws. It’s probably because evolution is not concerned with death; the body is not capable of holding itself together. Due to evolutions disregard for it, I think it’s very important we respect the dead. Though it’s a vacant house, once those rooms were filled with laughter and pain, love and loss, and history matters.

I can tell you the living are much more difficult to handle than the dead. People will go through Anger, Denial, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. This we know. What is unknown is how long it takes you to get from stage to stage. Or if you’ll be able to handle them at all. It’s been my experience that people have the most trouble with Anger and Depression/Bargaining. You can tell yourself that you’re fine as much as you want, but we are creatures of many lies. I think folk have problems accepting death in our culture because of how we view it, and how we process it. Death is removed from us entirely. Sometimes you see a body once or twice before a burial or cremation, but you don’t have to prepare it. When a family or loved ones prepared a body after death, there is a certain knowing that occurs, a certain closure.

I am a friend of death. I am familiar with her and I understand how she works. I have seen her take the breath of life. I have seen her end relationships, cause people, sometimes very good people, valuable people, to make impossible decisions. I have seen her cause unending pain. She’s given release, and given satisfaction. She’s given closure, and she’s given money.



Death has made me think a great deal about the concept of value and importance. Value means worth, or the ability to create a return on the investment of life. Importance is having the ability to gain value even if not valuable at the time. Not to separate people out, because on the whole I don’t like ranking systems. I’m being told by a boy that I need to give more examples and less philosophy, so I shall:

**kinda stole this from grey’s but that season finale was bad ass.

If there are two people with equal injuries, say Aortic tear with an unknown amount of internal bleeding in the thoracic cavity. One cardio-thoracic surgeon, both patients will not remain stable long enough for her to operate.
Patient A: female 32 orthopedic surgeons who has saved and changed many lives.
Patient B: Male 28, jealous ex who couldn’t let anyone have her if he couldn’t have her. He’s an angry Panda who usually spends his evenings playing video games and jacking off. Works at Jefferson’s, as a bus boy.

Who do you save? Well I guess I showed my bias.

Anyway. Value is a tumbler half full of gin. Importance is a tumbler sitting next to a bottle.
As I currently feel, all life is important. Some lives have more value than others.

Xoxo Natey

12.27.09, early

I've demolished the idea of having a sleeping pattern. Some days I'm lucky to grab a few hours. Others, like today, I sleep 16 hours straight, without stirring once. Either I have a disorder, or I'm incredibly lazy. Naturally, I'd like to blame a disorder.

Schloemer xmas tomorrow in Geneva, starts at noon. As of now, It's still snowing, and the roads were quite slippery tonight when I came home. Hopefully I wont end up in a ditch with my family.

I've had my new laptop for three days and I have Ten days worth of music on it. I wasn't able to download my old iTunes purchases. Which irritates me, being as i bought them. Dear iTunes, you suck. Revise your policy.

I passed my Med Aide class. Need to complete a few more clinical hours and then I'll be done and certified. It remains a nice promotion.

The apartment is a horrendous mess. I'm going to force myself to clean here soon, probably. Maybe.

It's impossible for me to string together a coherent thought longer than two or three sentences, so I'll stop now. Folding laundry and working on kicking this cold's ass. Hopefully to Iowa City soon. Need a recharge.