But the Mirror Says "No" to Me

A busted door, a blurred vision

and so begins my blurry mission

though you wished for it all

you found yourself in free-fall
a burdened beast in your own time.

I do my damndest to keep free of your bond
But you involved my loves
and rushed your flood of tears into my pond
In here fish swim differently
we know what we see
and trouble around us becomes the "T"

But paths still taken, though heartless can rule
Your world is ill-grounded the paths can still move
waiting for your response
it banks on whether you're drunk, your needs, your wants

So a fire got started and flames were thrown
the brighter they burn the more that you've shown
machines can only preserve the past
they cannot make the future last

Stevie wrote the words to our movie
we played the parts she wasn't afraid to create
A Gold Dust Woman, and a Gypsy.
Who's right or wrong?
It's Rhiannon we all wish to be
But the Mirror Says "No" to Me.

I Go Back

The truest lines
I've ever written
Have come to me
From those I've bitten
Moments in time
Captured in memory
An arrow shot just so
It breaks through my armory

The best you can do
Is try to find harmony
In days that seem filled
With endless monotony
Long ago I promised
To tell the truth
To lie would be unkind
To lie would be uncouth
But the truth has a way
Of reminding me
It's never that easy
To find harmony

So I go back: To the white of the paper
The black of my pen
I go back to times when I was fooled again
So I go back: To the blush of the morning
The thrill of the night
I go back to what I feel is right

The best lie
I ever told
Was that it would be easy
Just to grow old

Age has a way
of reminding you
pain can be tragic
But you've got to stay true
In another time
I was a travelling bard
But time has had it's say
and I became hard

So I go back: To the white of the paper
The black of my pen
I go back to times when I was fooled again
So I go back: To the blush of the morning
The thrill of the night
I go back to what I feel is right

Throw your papers on the fire
Watch the smoke dance on the wind
Tell me baby, can I go back again
Listen to the prophets and the lies they tell
Find solace in a stranger who releases you from your own hell

So I go back: To the white of the paper
The black of my pen
I go back to times when I was fooled again
So I go back: To the blush of the morning
The thrill of the night
I go back to try to figure out how to make it right

Not a prayer in the world could save us

A Dream

my main goal is this whole non profit dorm deal: When you are cast out it's easy to feel like no one loves you. It's easy to let that pain turn into anger, let that anger boil over, consume you and lead you to make choices that aren't in your best interest. People need to know they are loved, and sometimes your parents aren't the best to raise you. sometimes it takes a village. I wanna see that village thrive, and beautiful people come out of it

I'm sick and tired of seeing HIV rates rise, Drug abuse rise, Physical abuse and suicide rise. I'm god damned tired of it.and i want to do something about it


For years it has been my dream to open a place where people who are cast out from their homes can find a new place to live. Find a place to grow up, a place to thrive and discover themselves.

Too many people in our community get pushed out of their families. When you lose the people who you thought loved you, it's easy to feel alone. When you feel alone it's easy to find comfort it all the wrong places. Often that lonely feeling breeds anger, which manifests into making decisions that aren't in your best interest. we've all been there, we've all done it.

I want there to be a place where kids can get through school, learn who they are, and become prepared young adults in the process.

It's just a dream

Smoothly Spoken

Today was the first beautiful day of 2010. The sky wasn't clear, but the temp was immaculate. I slept until 4:30 because I work graveyard tonight. Cleaning, stocking, and following the beeps. Got laundry going and I've decided I need to do dishes. That's the first hurdle, admitting it. Alli and I have been seriously discussing moving in together. We've both got shitty living situations, and we both want a house. I especially want a dog. I haven't lived with one for four years and I'm really not liking it. I've decided that my best option at the moment is to return to school and pursue a nursing degree. Haven't told people yet. David Sedaris was right, I find it impossible to write without a cigarette. Times as they stand are considerably more difficult than they have been. I'm going through a lot of changes with my job, things I can't put on the internet, though I wish I could. When I move on, I'll post everything. Allegedly. My neighbors play music so loud that it vibrates my walls. Not good music. Mariachi shit that makes me fear I'll tympanically hemorrhage. This occurs around mid night. I've been the nice person a few times and asked them to turn it down when I have to work in the AM, but they continue to blast it. Upside? I'm learning Spanish.
My new favorite tune is Jason Mraz: Gypsy MC
Nick Simmons is gorgeous


Today was the type of day you spend walking outside with a 40.



xx
Natey