what it is to have want

I can't flow today
My muses gone
I can't seem to tell the stories in my head
They're there in memories and observations
But I can't put them down right
Or right enough for me

I have no technique
I don't know if this is writer's block
Or a lack of inspiration
Or lack of internet

Classes started two weeks ago and it feels really weird not going to school
Lots of people keep texting me
I forget that they don't know
I haven't made an official facebook announcement
Nate is feeling awkward about taking a semester off

I miss college sometimes
And then remember how much I hated it
And dread going back in January
I'll be an RN in a little over two years hopefully
I'll be getting' good money made
But I'm still hoping to work back into the "movement" soon

I can't explain how much of an impact it's had on me
It defined my growth for the past three years.
More than that, it defined my social networks
I regret that part the most I think
Too many broken hearts because of business driving pleasure

I had a good cry about it a while ago.
At the time, I felt that the root of my problem extended from the people I surrounded myself with
They weren't people of my nature.
I was wrong, because they were attracted to the flashing lights just like I was
We just had different ways of getting there
And tried to mix them together
With booze, hard music, and fast living
Christ we were fabulous

It wasn't really the people I associated with
It was more about the way in which I associated with them.
I shouldn't have been so quick to become so close
The task now is
How not to let that have a strong effect on my future relationships.
The question becomes how to do that
And the test will be if I can be hurt again