What it means to be a "Super Gay"

I wrote this ages ago. Many things have changed, but for the most part, it's still true.


For all my Fairy Winged Friends. I adore you more than you'll ever know!


It's that feeling of constantly being "on!" You're always ready to go, have your lines memorized and are ready to engage on the worlds' stage. There is nothing like this feeling, there is nothing like being strong, confident and rehearsed.

It's knowing how to fight. You've been doing it most of your life, you're getting damn good at it

It's going to sleep, wondering what the hell you're doing here. Why you're angry all the time, and praying for a dreamless sleep

It's having been through hell, and working your ass off to make sure no one else has to go there. You're willing to sacrifice yourself to make sure no one has to feel that pain.

It's being ready at a moments notice to jump up and scream.

It's being sick of screaming

It's the 3:32 am phone call:
"I can't take this. I want to die"
"What's wrong hon?"
"This is so over-whelming. Why do I have to be a part of this, why do I have to be this way? Whats wrong with me?"
"There is absolutely nothing wrong witn you. You're a beautiful human being. I understand you didn't choose this, that it chose you, but now you've got two options. You can crawl into a hole and hate yourself for doing so, or you can stand up, say I'm going to roll with these punches, and you can't keep me down"
"But it's so hard"
" I know, but remember, many have done this before you, many will do it after you, and the only thing in this world that you can do is try to make your life mean something."
"How do you do it?"
"I get up in the morning, paint on my face, and make the choice to face the day. If the day beats me at it's own game, I get up and fight a little harder"
"I don't know that I can do that"
"Of course you can. You're gay, meaning you're gifted, talented, and have amazing untapped resources. It's true that this chose us, but in choosing us, it gave us a tougher skin"
"Thank you"

It's tracing the cord back to the wall and realising that it's not only plugged in, it's going through a power surge and sparking.

It's feeling truly amazing at what you're accomplishing.

It's knowing that you're making a change, and even if what you're working for doesn't happen in your life time, it will be that much easier for the next generation

It's the willingness to sacrifice your sleep, beauty, and health for what is right.

It's sacrificing all those things, and still looking "Fabulous!" when you leave your house in the morning.

It's being able to get through the drama.

It's being scared shitless that at any given moment, someone will realise that you're not always being real, that you're putting on a face for the good of the cause.

It's being able to turn that face on and off

It's crying every time you hear that another member of the "family" has left us, and wondering what you could have done to stop it. If you could have made a difference.

It's taking that question and formulating another rally, another protest, another event in efforts to make sure that doesn't happen again

It's accepting that some people can't do what you do, and knowing that you have to work that much harder for them

It's knowing that when you're tired, battered, and bruised, you're not done yet, and the best is yet to come

It's love.